To Hover Or Not To Hover

So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. It’s not a pretty one, it’s a rather personal secret, and quiet frankly, if you don’t have the stomach for it – I highly recommend you stop reading now.

(Pause)

(Double Pause)

Okay, if you’re still with me, then odds are you probably are the type that enjoys watching baby birthing videos. More power to you. Who am I to judge right?

Any who, let’s jump right into it!

I am a hoverer. When I am in an unfamiliar or familiar environment and multiple people are using the restroom, your boy Husky Downs will hover. What these means, is rather than sit down, or put that paper stuff restaurants and businesses offer down, I choose to pull my pants down, grab my phone to search for content or play a game until I absolutely am ready to – hover.

As soon as I have to “drop and pop” I will hover, do my business, and then clean up shop. Sure, sometimes it’s never that simple, but that’s why I hover, that is why I train for moments like that. Where I once could only hover for a few minutes, I can now hover for as long as it takes to get the “job” done. I’m pretty sure there is some type of medical term for someone like myself, so if you know it, feel free to holler at your boy. 

You see the thought of everybody’s ass on the seat, regardless of whether they put that paper stuff down or not, it just isn’t cool with me. Some men have hairy butt’s, heck, some girl’s probably do too. All’s I know is, I ain’t trying to mix butt juices with nobody. On top of that, some men just can’t seem to aim very well, and even though I could clean off the top of the toilet seat, it still is nasty to me.

So there you have it folks, I am a hoverer. It’s clean. It’s simple. It’s me.

Anybody else out there a hoverer also?